A Break Up; An Ending, a Beginning

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I let the tears flow across my nose, from one eye to the next, drowning the pillows beneath my head. Sometimes it's the cold tiles of the bathroom floor against my forehead; hot tears on those white icy tiles.

I have nobody to rage against, no one to blame, I did this to myself, and far worse to others. I cheated. It was mostly in the friendship brewed over tea, pints and vodka. The betrayal was in the words weaved during hours of talking. The couple of stolen kisses were nothing against what I let grow in the spaces between those words, and our silences. I don't know what it is; even though the echoes of those words started an avalanche of pain, I'm glad I had it.

Those words were a catalyst not a cause, like a light shone on what was brewing between myself and John for a long time. In all my effort to stay strong I forgot how to be vulnerable; you need to show your underbelly before you can be tickled. In my strength I found hardness and solitude, and forgot how to find my way back to him. He is the best man I've ever known, I don't know how I am doing this, in the pain I can barely remember why. But I need to listen to that voice, it's been talking to me for such a long time, mostly ignored, bottled up, and left go sour.

Oh you dancing boy, you towering rainmaker, now you follow your boot shod feet over the sea and leave me to this bed I made, that I must lay in.

Oh you stoical man, I found your tears after all this time, you offered me forgiveness, friendship and love, and I gave you truthful uncertainty and a freedom that you do not want. Over six years we weaved and sewed our lives together, now we must pick them apart thread by thread, I will be gentle my love, I will take care.

So here I stand, off balance, off kilter, the world askew, I have cut off my leg to save the patient. I will learn to walk again, I will, but I don't want to. I want to huddle in my brushed cotton sheets savouring his fading smell. But that voice will gather me up, it led me to this point and I have to trust it knows the way out of these tangled sheets.

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My New Robot Tattoo

I'm not one of those people who gets impulsive tattoos, all the ones I have I think about for months or years before hand. But I broke my regular habit and allowed my self a somewhat speedy decision on a tattoo yesterday. I saw on Living Social that they were doing a special in Bullman's Tattoo Studio, an hour session for only €49(50% discount). I've been wanting to get a new piece for ages, and approached an amazing guy in Dublin to get my upper sleeve done recently. I'm rather fiscally challenged at the moment so don't have the €800 I was quoted for the piece. So this voucher seemed like a good way to get something small done in the meantime. 

Reference Photos

For a while I had the idea of having matching pieces on my inner lower arms, but never really thought much about what to put there. I also for a few months had been thinking of getting a cute robot tattoo, but again hadn't spent much time dwelling on it either. My childhood friend came to visit this week, I suggested that we go into Bullman's and get tattooed together, liking a bonding shoe shopping trip just with more permanent results. 

Work by Tommy Ryan

You may have noticed from my own work that I'm a bit obsessed with little sad robots, they seem so hopeful and hard working, but filled with pathos because 'they'll never be a real boy'. I love drawing them, but was afraid to design my own tattoo in case I grew tired of my own work. I gave my friend Tommy my two sheets of reference photos( ok, ok so it wasn't that impulsive a tattoo!) and he did up some drawings. I liked the drawings he did, but I didn't love them, and there was an awkward moment that I nearly didn't say anything so I wouldn't offend him(a very Irish thing to do). Thankfully I shook off this really stupid notion and remembered that it would be on my skin for the rest of my life. I bit the bullet and did my own sketch right there in the shop, there were certain elements that I really wanted like the over sized heart, tilted head, and sad face. I worked in some elements of his drawing into mine and I really like the merged design. 

Work by Tommy Ryan

I think Tommy really got a kick out of doing the piece, and it was so nice to be tattooed by a friend. It's weird, I hate going to the hair dressers because they talk to you all the time, but I love going to tattoo shops and having the laugh, maybe because they are wittier folk. It was also great to have Donna there too, we've been friends since we were 12, so it was a good moment to share. Although she does have a freakishly high pain threshold so that she could nearly sleep during a tattoo, I was rather jealous!

Work by Tommy Ryan

I plan on getting another robot in the same position on my other arm soon, I like the balance of having matching tattoos. I was also thinking that I might like a sheet of ripped paper to be tattooed on as a background for him, the idea that he is really one of my drawings, like he was ripped out of my sketchbook. I'll print out the photo and do some drawings to see what it would look like first though, and maybe run the idea past Tommy for his professional opinion too.

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Fixer Attempt at an Image Glitch

I've having some difficulty getting picture previews when I upload my links to Facebook. It's really annoying that it gives a little thumbnails of one of my images from my sidebar, which is totally unrelated to the post topic. I just had a brainwave to upload my images as code instead of using blogger upload. So this is a little test.

I'll publish it and see how it goes, fingers crossed.

Update: Fixer fail, I'm now not getting any preview, this is so annoying! It probably doesn't seem like that big of an issue but it is effecting my readership numbers. Is anyone else having the same problem with blogger and facebook?

Second Update; I was browsing through Facebook a couple of days after I posted this and stumbled upon Pagemodo, a free app for Facebook pages that I used to use for a landing page(when they had them). Obviously now that their service is defunct they have thought of new cool things to offer business page owners. They posted a link to their new scheduled posts tool which sounded really appealing, it means I can put in all my work for my page in one block of time rather than faffing online when I should be making things. But the added bonus is that they have an image upload section for the updates which means I can sort out my picture problem. Boom! They also have a bookmark thingy like Pinterest that lets you share links while you are browsing, but set them up to schedule during the week, genius, this is gonna be my new favourite toy!
Go to their page here!

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A Belated Ode to my Mother

This is a belated post dedicated to my Mother(it was Mother's Day in Ireland on Sunday). This is a rare photo of my parents, as long as I can remember mam runs and hides whenever a camera is pulled from a bag. When at family occasions she is made stand still long enough for a shot she usually can't hide the fear of the lens from her face, so we have very few nice photos of her. This was my father's 60th birthday quite a few years back, with their first granddaughter Eve in dad's arms. 

I don't call or visit half as often as I should but she is still as loving when I do remember to pick up the phone. She has an uncanny psychic ability, which all Irish mammies seem to possess, she knows exactly what is wrong by the tone in which I say 'hello'. There is something so wonderful (if a little terrifying) in someone knowing me so well. She always seems to know when I need a bunch of flowers, or a long chat over tea, and never fails to make time for me. 

Sometimes I'm foolish enough to think that she is a bit silly, but then a sentence will come out of her mouth that is so truthful and poignant that it's really quite astounding, then she will continue on with her normal natter. She taught me how to sew, to not care what others think, and that loving myself before seeking it anywhere else was the most important gift I could give myself. 

She is very quiet and shy, and in some ways the exact opposite of me, but I hope I'm capable of even half of her strength and loyalty.

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Lovin' the Bloglovin'

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I've been trying to dip my toes back into the world of blogging this week. I've been writing posts for this blog and also my new and still very small site Bazaar Tales. My friend Rebecca reminded me about the site Bloglovin and I thought I would give it a go. Basically it's an account you log into where you can read all of the blogs you follow. I find the Blogger reader a bit clunky and I never really got into Google reader. I like how easy Bloglovin' is to use, just simply add the address you want to follow and click. I also like that you can heart a post, sometimes I don't really have anything to say but I want to let people know it was a good post.

I'm also making a concerted effort to comment on more blogs, and Bloglovin seems to be an easier way to go about it. Just like most bloggers I would like to reach a wider audience, especially with my new blog, and commenting on others posts is always heralded as the main contributor to this. I'm enjoying all the reading and commenting I'm doing, but boy does it eat up time!

So if you are a Bloglovin' user say 'Hi' in the comments section and I'll come follow you, and if you're not yet then I would highly recommend it. If you want to add your own blog to the site it's really easy, they just ask that you put one of their buttons on their site. But it seems even if you haven't set your blog up on their site people can still follow you through it anyhow, smart huh?

To follow my Nice Day Designs page click here, and to follow me for Bazaar Tales click here.

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1920's Costume Party

Ages ago I posted about doing research for a 1920's costume party I was going to. True to form I never got around to doing the follow up post, due to lack of pictures taken on the night. Recently I went to another 1920's party(if you follow this blog at all you'll know I'm quite the fan of fancy dress), so I actually have some photos to show you.

Above is a picture of me wearing possibly the most unflattering dress I've ever donned in my life, but I needed something that was shapeless and straight down. Having a big (and I think quite lovely) boobs and bum is not great for wearing a 1920's style outfit, but I did the best I could. I got the amazing neck trimming at the Milk Market for around a tenner, and I happened to have the black and silver trimming in my stash box. The white flower lace is actually vintage and was given to me by John's Mum. I don't have any photos of the making of the head piece, but I cut three strips of black trimming, measured them to the size of my head. Then painstakingly sewed on the flowers, and added some drop pearls to the side. To attach this delicate piece to my head I used some matching cream hair clips that I got in Pennies for a couple of euro. It took nearly as long to make this as it was to do the alterations on the dress, but it was my favourite bit of the costume.

As you can see I added some chiffon sleeves to balance out the top, and bought these crazy white gloves in Glitz and Bitz, they were pricey at €15 but they really made the outfit. I added white lace to the end of the dress, which you can't see here, and also the white satin low waisted band.

We got John's waistcoat in a liquidation sale in Blacktie for only €10, and the lovely burgundy brocade bowtie was made by Silk and Burlap(at the Milk Market every Friday and Saturday) was a steal at only €8.

The 1920's party was in celebration of Dr.John's bar being open a year, and this is the lovely Dr. himself. This place along with the Blind Pig downstairs has started to become my home away from home, a good and bad thing. They have lots of great gigs there, along with comedy, country, and cinema nights. They have a Facebook page here, if you want to go check out their latest(and mostly free) events.

Thanks go to Ken Coleman for the above photos.

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A Very Tardy Christmas Present

I have an awful confession to make. I entered Lakota's Christmas Blog swap and was disastrously late in sending off my present, as in two months late. It got so late I had that pit of my stomach guilty feeling that reminds me of when my mother disapproves of me. I got this amazing present from Janys, on time may I add! I couldn't believe how well someone who doesn't know me was able to pick such perfect things. It was genuinely one of my favouite presents I got this year.

Look at all the amazing goodies I got! Janys made the recycled pizza notebook herself, very handy for quick notes scribbled while at my desk. As well as the recycled gift tags, which I think are super cute, and will be adorning my presents this year. Her daughter made the lovely red coke can earrings, very much my style again. I haven't been able to use the stretchy recycled t-shirt belt yet, but I suspect during the Summer it will go with lots of my skirts and dresses.

She picked up the sari covered notebook at a local fair as well as the beautiful suede and shell necklace. I love love love the necklace, I wear it all the time, and people always comment on it. 

I just want to thank Janys again for being firstly amazingly psychic and then incredibly patient. You can read all about the parcel I sent to her on her blog here. I also want to thank Lakota for setting up the blog present swap, go read her really funny blog about crafts and thrifting.

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Show Your Mom Some Love

My cards have been selling pretty well lately at my stall, so I've been beavering away in the studio trying to get new stock made. My most recent batch was this vintage style set of Mother's Day cards. In case you didn't know it's on the 10th March, so you still have a bit of time yet before you have to go out and buy the Mammy a potted plant.

I think the bottom one is my favourite as it reminds me of all the hours I spent with my mum as a kid sewing. She started me on dresses for my Barbies with her scrap material, we moved onto things like bags, puppets and costumes as I got older. I was home a few months ago while I had a big sewing project to finish, it was really lovely to spend the day with her pinning and sewing, it brought back lots of fond memories. I'll definitely be sending her one with this image on it, I know she'll love it.

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